As the day began with yells and screams that filled up the air surrounding me, these old thoughts of "closing my eyes" were back in full effect and now with a driving force behind it. I could not bear the tears on my babys face, her screams for dada, not knowing what was happening, but knowing that something was not right. That is what made me disable that gun.
Not sure if anyone I know had the personal strength to point a loaded gun at their own head, and those who can think straight will call that stupidity... I lot of unsafe things has plagued my life since birth what is another wreck lees statement?
She is my air I say regardless what happens too me, I cant be with out my mini-me she is all mine and I think my life has gotten to a point of no return, I need some time away, time to think and reflect and ponder my options. I can't take another 2007, not now, not again, I am beat worn and in need of some rest. The voice in my head keep saying she needs you... "you are her role model, don't drop the ball cal"
